Where We Fail at Networking

A “network” is a collection of people, interconnected in one way or another.

I think Wikipedia can give a much better definition:

A personal network is a set of human contacts known to an individual, with whom that individual would expect to interact at intervals to support a given set of activities.

This is interconnectedness. Connection. Interact at intervals. Support. There’s something rigid about this definition that somehow mirrors how we network with others in the real world.

From where I come from, the word “network” gets a bad rap because of its association with multi-level marketing schemes. But even if it’s not, hearing the word itself can sometimes give us negative mental associations.

Images of suits, business cards and persistent e-mail follow-ups come to mind. But networking should be more than a superficial exchange of interest “because our industries can potentially give us mutual benefits”. Networking should be about building relationships— being eager and excited to connect with someone, always on the lookout for opportunities to be able to help.

We join networking events to land a job or to meet someone who can possibly give us that job after a Starbucks meeting or two. We “network” to “help” people so they can help us earn that commission.

Why don’t we meet people to help people and build meaningful and lasting relationships? Why do we add people to our CRM and follow-up, walk them up towards a buyer’s journey on a straight path towards our income? Why can’t we meet with people and act like real people instead of salesmen?

Why do we choose to network towards the goal: jobs, commissions, business opportunities? Why can’t we just connect with people to build lasting relationships rather than add more to our “collection” of interconnected people “segmented” in our CRMs?

There should be an element of spontaneity in networking. We should ditch the card-handing and give a lasting impression through genuine kindness and generosity. People give back not because they know who we are and what we can offer. They reciprocate because we give them life-changing value with genuine care and kindness.